A Little Short For Revenge
by kate04us
Summary: Subtle attempts at revenge are hard to pull off... When they fall short of your expectations... Just some silliness in the murder room. An ensemble piece with a little side of Shandy.


**A Little Short … For Revenge**

by Kate04

**A/N: **So this piece of silliness was inspired by a discussion about a dress and whether it would be something Sharon might wear. **Cat** kinda asked for this and despite some doubts I decided to post it.

Many thanks go to my wonderful beta **Most Bossy Robin**, who had a lot of great suggestions to make this work. All remaining mistakes are mine, as usual.

The title was **Kadi219**'s idea. She and **lontanissima** were my cheerleaders once again. Thanks ladies!

Okay, I'm done, except… Not my sandbox. Just playing in it and I promise to return the toys in one piece.

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"_When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves: one for your enemy, and one for yourself." _

― _Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes_

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Lieutenant Provenza was almost done with his first crossword puzzle of the day, his colleagues happily chatting around him. He enjoyed these quiet mornings when all there was to do was finishing up reports, putting away evidence and maybe – if they had some time left – looking into an old case they hadn't been able to solve to their satisfaction. As usual, he had already finished whatever he absolutely had to do and delegated the rest.

He didn't have to look around to know that Amy was busy filling the last evidence box, while Julio and Flynn finished up their reports. He was convinced that they would've been done with it some time ago if they just stopped teasing Amy about her boyfriend. She definitely had it coming the way she had tried to hide his identity from them, but now that he knew whom she was dating, Provenza had lost interest in the matter. He just wished his colleagues would, too.

Mike and Buzz did whatever it was they did on their computers. He didn't know and he certainly didn't want to ask Mike about it. They were huddled in front of Mike's screen, talking quietly. The words he did catch didn't have any meaning to him.

Suddenly, the room went quiet except for the familiar clicking of heels. So the captain had finally crawled out from under her files. She had already been in her office when he arrived and hadn't been out so far. Provenza would never understand how she could get so lost in those damn files.

Her "good morning" was delivered in her soft, friendly voice. He knew the corresponding expression on her face well enough by now – the slight smile and warm eyes that indicated a good mood. He didn't look up from his paper. He never did. A grunt was his only reply. Wouldn't do to appear too cheerful.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw her pause in front of the murder board for a moment. She had done that every morning since they had gotten that case with the unidentified homeless girl. The murder they had solved, but the girl still had no name. The case had affected them all and the captain had insisted on keeping her picture on the board for a while longer.

It was that picture she studied now and had studied every morning for two weeks. A moment later she turned away. She stopped next to his desk, moved a folder to the side and then did the unspeakable. She sat on his desk, legs crossed, appearing completely relaxed.

The old lieutenant blinked slowly and took a deep breath before he looked up to glare at the back of her head. As if she had felt his eyes on her, she turned towards him and gave him a smile – an entirely too sweet smile. He narrowed his eyes at her in an attempt to make his displeasure known, but that only earned him a raised eyebrow. When she turned back towards the others without removing herself from his desk, Provenza heaved a sigh and slumped back in his chair. Apparently he was still paying for his missing "sense of occasion" from the other day. Whoever said that the Wicked Witch was dead didn't know what they were talking about.

Already busy planning his revenge, Provenza only listened with half an ear to what the captain had to say. It was pretty obvious what it was about, anyway. The annual budget meeting had been two days ago, meaning that the Mayor had whined to the Chief about the lack of money and how they all needed to make some cuts. The Chief had then assembled the Assistant Chiefs who in turn had let go of their frustrations in front of the department heads. Now it was their Captain's turn to talk about whatever new ways they had found to save money. Probably no overtime – again. He had heard this talk too many times over the decades he had been on the force.

It took him a moment to notice, but the room was suspiciously quiet. It was more than just everyone listening to the Captain. Like he, the others had heard this speech before. It didn't usually keep anyone from quietly continuing with their work. This had him look around the room, studying his colleagues.

Buzz and Mike wore identical looks of surprise – almost hilariously so. They peered over Mike's screen, eyebrows raised and mouths open, both blinking somewhat owlishly.

Amy stood next to her desk, her hand holding an evidence bag frozen in mid-air, head slightly tilted. Her eyebrows were close to merging with her hairline – a rather impressive sight.

His idiot partner sat behind his desk, leaning onto his arms and wearing one of his stupid grins.

Julio's expression was a little concerning. His eyes were wide and his face was turning a rather frightening shade of red. Was he even still breathing?

What they all had in common, apart from looking like idiots, was what they were staring at – the Captain. He studied her appearance a little more thoroughly than usual, trying to figure out what was the matter with everyone. Had she finally turned green?

On the first glance he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. She wore the purple blazer and some black dress. Nothing unusual. As his eyes traveled further down, his eyebrows raised. He never paid much attention to Raydor's wardrobe, because it was none of his business and this sort of hobby was more his partners thing, anyway. This, however, even he noticed. There was a rather unusual amount of bare skin between the hemline of her dress and the black high heels – very high heels, in fact.

He tore his eyes away from the sight and frowned at her. Now, he appreciated a nice set of legs like the next guy, but this was not normal. In all the years he had known Raydor – and it had been a lot of years – her skirts had never been much above knee-length (okay, so maybe he had looked occasionally) and, looking around the room now, he knew why. They were all too busy staring at this unusual sight to concentrate of their work.

Provenza groaned quietly. This was going to be a very long day. He glared at Flynn. The idiot was still grinning like the cat that ate the bloody cream. It was probably his fault. Yes, he would go with that. This was all Flynn's fault. He wasn't sure what Flynn had done, but he was entirely too happy about the sight. He was getting too old to deal with fools in love and that was definitely what his partner was. There was no other explanation and he would make him pay. Oh yes, the idiot would pay for this!

The Captain had stopped talking and the last few words had sounded like a question. She eyed Sanchez, eyebrow raised and concern slowly clouding her face.

"Julio, are you alright?"

The man just blinked at her, his mouth opening and closing and when he actually managed to say something, it came out as a strangled croak.

Provenza looked at the scene in front of him. It was like a train wreck – he knew it would be going to hell and it would be ugly, but he just couldn't look away. To make matters worse, Amy tried to help.

"Captain, I think what Julio wants to say is that you have fantastic legs."

He let his face fall into his hands and groaned. Sometimes he just didn't know what to think of Sykes. Either she was incredibly brilliant or she was just too stupid for words.

Next to him, the Captain sat up straight and Provenza heard a gasp, followed by violent coughing from the Captain. His partner cackled like the lunatic he was and he heard a snort from either Buzz or Tao.

Julio only whimpered quietly and when he looked up, Provenza saw the Detective slide down in his chair as if he tried to melt into the ground.

When the coughing to his left finally stopped, he looked up at the always-controlled Captain Raydor. He pressed his lips together in order to suppress an inappropriate grin. Her face was bright red and her eyes wide. This, he thought, was more than adequate payment for sitting on his desk. Karma was a wonderful thing and tomorrow he might even buy one of those strange coffee creations Sykes liked so much. She had definitely made his day. Of course, he would never tell her that.

Raydor shook her head slightly as if to clear it and turned to him.

"Lieutenant, make sure all the paperwork is in order before lunch. I've got a meeting with Chief Taylor at three and want to give him our final report."

She turned on her heels and strode into her office, closing the door with deliberate care. A moment later the blinds were closed and the murder room was once again eerily quiet.

Before he was done enjoying what had just happened, Flynn rose from behind his desk and walked towards her office. He patted Julio on the shoulder as he passed him, then knocked on the Captain's door and vanished inside.

"Idiot!" Provenza muttered under his breath, before he clapped his hands once and drew everyone's attention back to their work.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

She knew he would follow her. Sharon had just sunk into her desk chair when he knocked. Her face buried in her hands, she told him to enter. She didn't look up. She expected him to sit down in one of her visitor's chairs, but he didn't. Instead she felt his presence close to her, his warm hands reaching for her cold ones. He pried them away from her face, effectively pulling her out of hiding.

His expression was entirely too cheerful, almost to the point of obnoxiously self-satisfied. She saw his gaze switching back and forth between her face and her legs and it made her groan.

Looking down at herself, she grimaced as she realised just how much skin this dress revealed when the sat down. It hadn't looked quite that short in the mirror this morning.

"Is it really that bad?" She asked, half knowing that she didn't need an answer. The reaction of her team had been indication enough.

Andy took his time studying the expanse of creamy flesh her tight dress left exposed and grinned at her.

"I wouldn't say it's bad. Not bad at all, in fact. You do make it a little hard for everyone to focus on our work, though."

His expression left no doubt about the direction his thoughts were taking and it made her blush once again.

"So, any particular reason why you're trying to distract us today?"

Sharon had the strong desire to run away – or to slap him – she couldn't quite decide which. She considered not answering him, but when she looked at him, she saw genuine concern on his face. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Jack called last night. He got the papers and had some … concerns he wanted to discuss. It got a little heated and some things were said that … Let's just say I needed to feel good about myself today. This dress usually does the trick. I just never realised how … revealing it is."

Sharon let her head fall back, closing her eyes. This might be the single most embarrassing day of her life.

She felt his fingers brush over her cheek and down her neck. The sensation made her shiver and a soft moan escaped her lips.

"You know, if you wanted to feel good about yourself, I might know a way or two to help, which won't compromise the productivity of your team."

His voice was very low and raspy and it made her skin tingle.

"Is that so? And what do you have in mind, Lieutenant?" A lazy smile on her lips, she gave him a challenging look over the rim of her glasses.

"You'll have to wait till tonight to find out, I'm afraid. My boss is a real hard-ass about fraternization in the office. Don't want to get in trouble with her."

"Hmm, is that your way of asking me out on a date?"

He gave her one of his boyish smiles as he pushed away from her desk and released her hand.

"Could be."

He turned around and walked towards the door. Before he opened it, he gave her another look over his shoulder.

"I'll pick you up at 8. Wear something casual and tell the kid you'll be home for breakfast."

He winked at her and before she could answer he was gone, leaving Sharon alone with her thoughts. At least now they weren't focused on what had happened in the murder room anymore.


End file.
